At this point everyone is well aware of how ridiculous Super Bowl concessions prices are, but last year’s incredible reprieve from gouging in Atlanta made the game in Miami serve as a shock to the system.
— Jim Wyatt (@jwyattsports) February 2, 2020
We did our best to come up with vaguely budget-conscious menus for people attending the game, but this menu of seafood is so over the top I’m actually kind of angry about it. This is because I am an irrational person who gets upset over things that don’t directly affect me, which you could call a character flaw, but I prefer to refer to it as “empathy.”
These are the items that made me the most upset:
No. 1: Stone Crab Claw Cocktail — EIGHTY-FIVE AMERICAN DOLLARS
Stone Crab is exceptionally expensive, I understand this — but ultimately the cocktail is less a case of product and more execution. A casual Google search led me to this Miami Beach restaurant which charges $69.95 for five “large” claws.
Now look, I will never ever disparage the hard-working people of concessions stands. I was one of them, working in a long line of movie theater jobs. However, I do not trust their ability to prepare stone crab well. This is all just a rip off and I hate it.
No. 2: Kraut Footlong Dog — FOURTEEN AMERICAN DOLLARS
This is purely me complaining that sauerkraut is a $2 up-charge. This should be a free condiment like it is at any deserving hot dog place. You’re already spending $12 on a hot dog, the least they could do is throw in a little free pickled cabbage.
No. 3: Glass of Champagne — TWENTY-FIVE AMERICAN DOLLARS
No. 4: Lay’s Potato Chips — SIX AMERICAN DOLLARS
No. 5: Sabra Hummus Chips — SIX AMERICAN DOLLARS
This makes me angry because I keep this item stocked in my house fairly regularly. It costs me roughly $2. This requires no preparation. No effort. The reward for trying to be low-impact is a 300 percent markup.
No. 6: BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich — TWELVE AMERICAN DOLLARS
I live in eastern North Carolina. If there’s one thing I know, it’s good pulled pork. I will wager every cent in my bank account that this sandwich is terrible. For the same price I can go to the BBQ joint around the corner and get a pound of pulled pork, six buns, a large order of fries, hushpuppies and green beans.
No. 7: Carved Beef Tenderloin Sandwich — TWENTY-EIGHT AMERICAN DOLLARS
This is a high-dollar item, sure — but, much like the stone crab, I have a feeling it would be well done and unsatisfying.